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Ni gute wahitamo umusore muberanye

Uko umuntu agenda akura, agenda arushaho kwitegereza no kubona umiryango iryoshye aho umugabo n’umugore babanye neza ukaba wakemeza ko aho bibera nko muri paradizo ntoya. Abakobwa batari bacyeya bibaza uko bigenda kugirango umukobwa ahitemo umusore baberanye dore ko akenshi aba akomangirwa n’abasore batari bacyeya.

Mu nyandiko ye kuri iki kibazo, umuhanga mu by’imitekerereze ya muntu Claude Boutin yabivuye imuzi mu nyandiko dukesha urubuga rwa interineti rwa femmeplus.canoe.com aho yanononsoye cyane ibyatuma umwari ahitamo nabi.

Guhitamo umusore ukubereye nk’inkumi, si ibintu bikomeye nubwo bitoroshye cyane dore ko byagereranywa no guhitamo icunga rimwe muri menshi kandi koko rikaba ariryo rirakuryohera kurusha yose.

Ntago byagereranywa n’ikizamini cyo guhitamo aho wifashisha urupapuro ukajya ureba imirongo(condition) uwo ugiye guhitamo yujuje cyangwa atujuje.

Kwimenya

N’ubwo benshi batekereza ko gukunda bikaryoha ari amahirwe umuntu yigirira, akenshi kubihirwa mu rukundo hari ubwo biba bikomoka mu guhitamo nabi. Aha wakibaza igihe havugwa ko umukobwa yahisemo nabi. Ni igihe uhitamo umusore udakurikije wowe uko umeze, ugahitamo utitaye mu by’ukuri ku byo ukunda kandi wifuza mu buzima.

Abakobwa bose ntibakunda ibintu bimwe, niyo mpamvu ugomba kwimenya koko ukamenya uko umusore wakwizihira yaba ameze mbere yo kugira uwo ubwira yego.

Hari ubwo muri wowe waba ushimishwa n’umusore muremure cyangwa mugufi, uvuga macyeya cyangwa uganira bityo bikaba ari ngombwa koko kwimenya mbere y’ibindi byose.

Iziture iminyururu ikubuza guhitamo neza

Guhitamo umusore muberanye cyangwa umugabo uzakubera isoko y’umunezero, bihura n’inzitizi cyane y’amateka y’urukundo umukobwa aba yaranyuzemo cyane cyane bigakomezwa n’ibikomere bitandukanye aba yaragiye ahura nabyo.

Ibikomere byurukundo bitandukanye byatewe n’amateka y’urukundo umwari yanyuzemo bititondewe byangiza imihitiremo y’umukunzi uzaba isoko y’umunezero. Aha twavuga cyane aho umwari aba yarahemukiwe n’umugabo wavugaga macyeya akumva ko umugabo uzamuryohera agomba kuzaba avuga cyane.

Ingero zaba nyinshi hano aho umukobwa wahemukiwe n’umukene yakumva ko umukire ariwe gisubizo cyangwa se niba ari umukire wamuhemukiye azaryoherwa n’umukene.

Hari nababa barembejwe n’amateka mabi y’urukundo yabakomerekeje ugasanga bahebeye urwaje bavuga ngo uzaza wese ni akazi ke apfa kuzaba ari umugabo.

Kugirango rero ubashe guhitamo neza ni ingenzi kwizitura iyo minyururu yose kandi ukamenya mu by’ukuri umusore wifuza. Ibikomere watewe n’urukundo byaba ari ibyakera cyangwa iby’ubu biguguna ubushobozi bwo guhitamo uwo muberanye muri bose uba ubona.

Wikwisuzugura

Kubera impamvu zitandukanye, hari ubwo nk’umukobwa uba wumva udakwiriye gutura uburyohe bw’urugo rusa na paradizo. Bitewe ahanini no kwisuzugura cyangwa gucika intege hari ubwo wumva usa n’uwahebeye urwaje, wumva utari mwiza, ko udakurura abagabo, ko nta mugabo wakwifuza, mbese ukumva uri ku rugero ruri hasi cyane ugereranije n’abandi bakobwa bagenzi bawe.

Kwisuzugura rero biganisha cyane mu guhitamo nabi n’ubwo no kwishira hejuru nabwo byangiza imihitiremo. Aha umukobwa ashobora kugwa cyane mu mutego wo kwisanga ari umunyagasuzuro cyane kugeza aho atakibasha kumenya mu by’ukuri umusore watuma ahoro yizihiwe ari uwuhe.

Urufunguzo rwo kwigobotora ibikugwingiza mu mihitiremo yawe, ni wowe urufite cyane ko ari ntawamenya mu by’ukuri ikikunyura kurusha byose. Ni ingenzi cyane kandi ku mukobwa kumenya ko umunezero wimbitse utava mu kuba ufite umusore w’inshuti cyangwa umugabo dore ko kenshi abatari bacyeya bahangayika bishizemo ko barengerewe n’imyaka bigatuma bahitamo bitabanogeye arinabyo byazabaviramo kubabazwa muri urwo rugendo rw’urukundo.

Kwimenya no gukira ibikomere hari ubwo wananirwa kubyishoboza, ariho usanga hitabajwe inzobere mu byerekeye ubuzima bw’imitekereze ya muntu, cyagwa se ukiyambaza inshuti wizeye kandi ifite ubushobozi bwo kugufasha.

Kwimenya ukamenya neza icyo ushaka n’icyakunyura kurusha ibindi udashingiye ku bikomere by’amateka yawe, birahagijekugirango uhitemo neza kuko iyo wimenye by’ukuri ntuba ugikeneye no guhitamo ahubwo uwo mubyumva kimwe aba ari nawe muberanye.

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